david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
