I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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