had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
