Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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