Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
