WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
