Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
