I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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