I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
