Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
