you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
