Cold hands, warm shart.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
