i was rollin on her like bob the builder
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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