i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
