You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
