So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
