if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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