I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
