Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
