she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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