Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
