He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
