Betty ford says i'm here all night
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
