she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
