Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
