I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
