ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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