Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
