when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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