very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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