Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
