And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she looked like the before picture.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't turn off my feet"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
