Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
