I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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