Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
