the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
