So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
