I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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