You kept calling me your small dog last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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