Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
