just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
