How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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