KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
