maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
