Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
