Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
