okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
