I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
