Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
of course. lets lasso hookers.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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