well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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