ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
